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Messages before 11 Dec 98 | 11 Jan 99 | 11 Feb 99 | 11 Mar 99 | 11 Apr 99 | 11 May 99 | 11 June 99 | Post a Message Box | To the Story | MoTS

time: Monday 17 Jan 100 2:42 PM
from: Ivan Mufti
host: www.fibermarket.com
e-mail: imufti@allergist.com
subject: Deja vu...
MESSAGE:

My Dear, Dear Miss Ahki,

Are you aware of how overmuch, in that last message, you resemble my currently-hospitalized wife and her inscrutable monkey-puzzling? So much so, in fact, that I begin to suspect that I've been bamboozled...

time: Monday 17 Jan 100 - Quarter to 9 PM
from: Ruth
host: sja-hiper1a-111-239.dialup.slip.net
e-mail: dawnann@slip.net
subject: I am back...!
MESSAGE:

returning from my week long vacation in a far away land I have found I missed quite a bit! Don't think anyone really noticed I was gone. Never expected anyone would. Oh well anyways as you now see I am back agian to pester you..moo and a ha ha too

time: Tuesday 18 Jan 100 - Quarter after 10 PM
from: Terri Ahki
host: spider-wj031.proxy.aol.com
subject: Zen to my Ivan
MESSAGE:

"Disillusionment with the pursuit of the good does not involve the evil of stagnation as its necessary alternative, for the human situation is like that of "fleas on a hot griddle." None of the alternatives offer a solution, for the flea who falls must jump, and the flea who jumps must fall. Choosing is absurd, because there is no choice."

time: Wednesday 19 Jan 100 8:07 AM
from: Philip
host: www.fibermarket.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: Yum
MESSAGE:

Fleas on a hot griddle are my favorite food, up there with toasted henbane seeds, the freshly squozen juice of young beetlets, and brook trouts' pearly little eyes.

time: Wednesday 19 Jan 100 12:47 AM
from: Leather Nun
host: du211087.cli.ptd.net
e-mail: digi@ptd.net
subject: I hear the fat lady singing
MESSAGE:

Shall we all join now in a moment of silence in honor of the dearly departed.
Go to the light, Tulip.
GO TO THE LIGHT.

time: Wednesday 19 Jan 100 - Quarter to 2 PM
from: Mrs. Ivan Mufti
host: www.fibermarket.com
e-mail: imufti@allergist.com
subject: Tulip
MESSAGE:

Yeah, Ruth, sorry, but Tulip had to go. It's a thing that happens when you reach adulthood. The mere mention of a unicorn can cause dangerous bouts of gas, indigestion, halitosis, and, in extreme cases like what happened to poor Lanark, can actually transform you into a giant wheel of cheese. Not a pretty sight. Go to:

http://www.sursumcorda.com/28seconds/mp3one.htm

if you don't believe me. And he was one of the lucky ones.

Unlike my husband.
Ahem.
Miss Ahki?
Are we gonna have to duke this out again?

time: Wednesday 19 Jan 100 4:00 PM
from: Terri Ahki
host: spider-tf012.proxy.aol.com
subject: Absolute-elly, oh nefarious lardbutt
MESSAGE:

RIP Tulip. 'Bout damn time.
And as for you, Mrs. Mufti, you are the bane of my very existence, and I shall rest at nothing until I have you tightly bound in my web and then, licking my ever-so-delicious chops, I'll devour you like the butterball that you are. He may have strayed from the path, from the light, but I'll guide him back, and your sorry ass sure isn't gonna stand in my way.

time: Wednesday 19 Jan 100 5:39 PM
from: Ruth
host: sja-hiper1a-18-146.dialup.slip.net
subject: ah...poor Tulip
MESSAGE:

I knew this was going to happen *takes her hanky* oh well...Poor unicorns are so misunderstood! *honks her nose* Ok I think I am over it now..Maybe Grunthar can go and smash some stuff! Yahhhh!!!!

time: Wednesday 19 Jan 100 9:42 PM
from: Buttercup
host: spider-we012.proxy.aol.com
e-mail: B-Cup@strawberryshortcake.cum, I mean .com
subject: yummie yummie yummie I've got love in my tummie
MESSAGE:

Since we're talking about love, oh wait, were we? Well, now we are. Philip, I think you're the bees' knees, and I think that perhaps you should tip a cocktail with me. We'll smoke, and tie our hair up in pin curls, and watch my movies...that's right. I'm a porn star. And I'll feed you kitty treats and play with your toes, and I'll weave you shrouds from your belly button lint. Sound inviting? Page me. 678.579.0026. Oh, and I taste like strawberries.

time: Thursday 20 Jan 100 9:27 AM
from: Philip
host: www.fibermarket.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: Pubic Tandem
MESSAGE:

hey, ww -- crack kills. But it spends a great deal of time dissolving brain cells and dismantling cerebral functionality beforehand. So at the very least, share some of it with the rest of us -- in other words, sweetie, to quote Mr. Ken Kesey -- "you're either on the bus or off the bus."

Tell me, Miss Ahki, if I may be so bold: what is it that a fetching, intelligent young woman like yourself sees in a bewhiskered, hunchbacked, chair-and-leg-humping, scheming, lying, lecherous old goat like Ivan Mufti?

time: Thursday 20 Jan 100 - Half past 5 PM
from: Terri Ahki
host: spider-tp044.proxy.aol.com
subject: Humpa Humpa
MESSAGE:

Don't you know, Master Philip, that the sex only gets better with a hump on his back? Hence the terminology "to hump"... I'd have thought a smarty-patootie like yourself would have figured THAT one out. And if he's a goat, so much the better. I love to feel the tickle of a little goatee, goat beard, on my bare tummy. But of what concern is it of yours? You want a little saucy Terri Ahki action yourself? Jealous much? I-L-U-V-M-U-F-T-I. He is the be-all, end-all of my days, and his wife, that sloven toad, can just go munch yet another bag of pork rinds with spicy sauce packets. Sounds like you have your own admirer, so why not leave my Ivan alone. Perhaps he'll find some semblance of happiness with me, and not be such the stodgy old fart that he seems to be. Perhaps you can take something from this. Everyone has SOMEONE, and I am she for him. Get over it, play with your own little plastic butterballdoll, and leave me my Ivan. You should be so lucky.

time: Thursday 20 Jan 100 5:34 PM
from: Erin
host: spider-tp044.proxy.aol.com
e-mail: eiremi@aol.com
subject: the bus, the bus...
MESSAGE:

I had the unpleasant experience of dating Ken Kesey's godson in college. He was one fucked up individual. His parents drank WAY too much of that drat Kool-Aid. He was hot, but he was dumber than a lump of mud. Ahhhh.. history. And trophy boyfriends.... But then I killed him, so it's all just fine and dandy now.

time: Friday 21 Jan 100 12:52 AM
from: Philip
host: www.fibermarket.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: those brief brushes with celebrity
MESSAGE:

I dated Natalie Wood for a few months one summer... until I realized that she'd been dead for over a year.

time: Sunday 23 Jan 100 8:38 PM
from: ditsy
host: id188.megapipe.net
subject: sagt mir wo die blumen sind?
MESSAGE:

Tot? Everybody or just dry toast?

time: Tuesday 25 Jan 100 11:46 AM
from: Philip
host: www.fibermarket.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail
subject: Wer hat zuerst gerochen...
MESSAGE:

...dem ist es aus den Arsch gekochen.

There is a point I've read of, where a man walks out into the freezing cold with a bottle of whiskey. He sits there in the dark frigid night in the snow, leaning against a tree, and he drinks himself warm, and he drinks himself to sleep, and he doesn't wake up...

...Anyway, cuddles/lanark/Terri/LeatherNun/etc., this is really lame without y'all doing your magical herd-dog thing, keeping the exponentially reproducing cows in line across the lonesome pair-i-yay. Too much work for one little doggie. I'm bored/tired/underwhelmed. There is no story anymore. I think -- tandemwise, at least -- I'm gonna head out into that frostycold nacht with the bottle of 15 year old Tallisker cradled in my arms and go for the Big Tandem Sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

time: Tuesday 25 Jan 100 9:07 PM
from: Terri Ahki
host: spider-wb061.proxy.aol.com
subject: Agree, I do
MESSAGE:

I was just waiting until Prom when they'd all fall off their little keyboards, and go out in search of the effervescent punch and pre-teen fumblings. Biding my time, drinking myself silly. They'll all shrivel when the weather warms. Being but 18 myself, I'd almost guarantee it. I curse those little brats and their taffeta and curls. God damn the corsages and make-up jobs. Why couldn't I have a date to the Prom? Huh? why! Why! Now there's a new storyline. Terri and the Miserable Eve of Prom and funny how Stephen King made a movie of it. Drat. Drink up, Fishface. I'm right beside ya.

time: Friday 28 Jan 100 5:58 PM
from: Ruth
host: sja-hiper1a-50-178.dialup.slip.net
e-mail: dawnann@slip.net
subject: lost track
MESSAGE:

I lost track of the story a while ago. I don't really know if I am helping or hindering it. well I try anyways. I came from my vacation and then oooooh whoa too much. not sure who the main character is anymore. Oh well, and if it doesn't work don't chew me out.

time: Tuesday 1 Feb 100 7:58 PM
from: queen
host: id204.megapipe.net
e-mail: queen@mindless.com
subject: derailment
MESSAGE:

Ruth, the lisle was too taut and the thread has been lost. Tis' all because of your romperings at the leper colony. The room has fallen victim to the Mufti cult and can not be resurected. It's a anthrax thang.
Do you want to search for Erewhon? I'm game.

time: Thursday 3 Feb 100 8:17 PM
from: Mrs. Ivan Mufti
host: 57.atlanta-48-49rs.ga.dial-access.att.net
e-mail: mrs_ivan_mufti@allergist.com
MESSAGE:

Listen, you little hussy, don't you dare take my husband's name in vain, not unless you're looking for catfight that makes the denouement of Grease look churchy. You little trollops will be the death of us in no time whatsoever, and then what the hell will you do? Ride away on poor Tulip? With ever-ardent Grunthar in tow...

time: Friday 4 Feb 100 10:08 PM
from: Terri Ahki
host: spider-tj021.proxy.aol.com
subject: Gadzooks! A catfight that I wasn't privy to?
MESSAGE:

What ever is this coming to? Mrs. Mufti, you hefty peacock, you seem to have found another little troll to attack. I raise my glass to you.

time: Saturday 5 Feb 100 0:37 AM
from: Mrs. Ivan Mufti
host: 49.atlanta-48-49rs.ga.dial-access.att.net
e-mail: mrs_ivan_mufti@allergist.com
subject: Ahki My Yahki!
MESSAGE:

Listen, bitch -- I'll fuck you up so bad, your Sunday School teacher will hurt. I'll get Tulip to trample your rosebushes, and Grunthar to hise up his stinking loincloth and urinate on the travesty of their red-green remains... I'm a Mufti now, honey, and those what fuck with the Muftis (as the proverb goeth) gets to shleep wit da fishie_pies...

time: Sunday 6 Feb 100 8:46 AM
from: Cherry
host: proxy2-external.alntn1.tx.home.com
e-mail: cherries4free@yahoo.com
subject: Tulip
MESSAGE:

Don't go to the light, Tulip! Come to Mommy.

time: Tuesday 8 Feb 100 9:18 AM
from: Mrs. Ivan Mufti
host: 145.atlanta-48-49rs.ga.dial-access.att.net
e-mail: mrs_ivan_mufti@allergist.com
subject: Tulip
MESSAGE:

Yes, Tulip, dear thing, come to Mommy indeed... Mommy's hungry, poor dear, and it's the maid's day off...

time: Tuesday 8 Feb 100 8:16 PM
from: Terri Ahki
host: spider-we063.proxy.aol.com
subject: Puddin' Tame - ask me again and I'll tell you the same.
MESSAGE:

Madame Mufti,
You pustulant abscess,
Has it come to this?

With your pendulous breasts and affinity for John Merrick's testicle, is nothing sacred? My Sunday School teacher is a warrior-innocent, unlike most, and your pusilanimity sha'n't scare but the meek.

Bringing in the god-fearing, though? This is war. Your gooey pannus will tremble at the mere scorch my temper will pet upon you from afar. Your shriveled nipples will invert in fear, and your mopey jowls will crease from the incessant screams exiting your gaping, drooling, toothless orifice.

Listen, you nincompoop, your bed will be cold each night, as Le Mufti will be occupied elsewhere, and your pet chihuahuas will scorn you due to the deviant gasses escaping your foul tempered ass.

You profess your moxie, yet it manifests not. Bring it on, bitch. Bring it on.

I am everything that you have ever hoped to be, yet never were graced with.

Madame Mufti, send my regards to your malevolent maker, and mention that you'll be joining it soon. Get thee gone, evil one.

time: Wednesday 9 Feb 100 9:40 AM
from: Mrs. Ivan Mufti
host: 237.atlanta-48-49rs.ga.dial-access.att.net
e-mail: mrs_ivan_mufti@allergist.com
subject: the membrane theory
MESSAGE:

It has not escaped my notice, Miss Ahki, that your name begins with the very same consonant as does the moniker of a certain much-discussed (-disgusted) little unicorn round these parts. I speak, of course, of the letter "T" (the star of a trult wonderful episode of Sesame Street) -- as in Tulip, as in Terri, as in "Injun Joe is TICKLISH," and as in you -- that is:
you
are
TOAST.

Forewarned is three-legged.

time: Wednesday 9 Feb 100 8:59 PM
from: Terri Ahki
host: spider-te043.proxy.aol.com
subject: A shroe! A shroe! My dingkome for a shroe!
MESSAGE:

Ah pshaw, woman. Smite me, from your web? I think not. I overheard this conversation of late, and I gather it was you that he was referring.

"I thought to myself 'a little fermented curd will do the trick'. So I curtailed my...activities, sallied forth and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy combustibles."

You know, Madame, an infrequent bath could just be the very thing to rid your atrophied genitalia of the above mentioned curd. Just something to think about. But now that we see that you have a suitor, perhaps you might fancy releasing Le Mufti to my well endowed (and yet, so very perfect) bosom. Again, just something to ponder, my embittered darling.

time: Thursday 10 Feb 100 - AM The big hand is on the 12 The little hand is on the 12.
from: Mrs. Ivan Mufti
host: 171.atlanta-48-49rs.ga.dial-access.att.net
e-mail: mrs_ivan_mufti@allergist.com
MESSAGE:

If I know my husband -- and believe you me or nay, I most certainly do -- all I can say is that he would never, never forsake a curd for a piece of toast. He'll take the moist and squishy over the dry and dander-emitting any day of the week. Ivan Mufti is a Curd Man through and through, as sure as our dearly departed Lanark, who was once a man, is now, via some fire of unknown origin (not to mention far too much time listening to Secret Treaties and Agents of Fortune in his rusty old orgone accumulator), sadly transformed into the pitiful state of a giant, sentient wheel of Brie cheese, a new Gregor Samsa for a new millenium. "Curd Men, Cheese Men -- We're Here! We're Stilton! Get Used To It!" So goeth the brave new Internationale of these bold pioneers of the New-New Frontier...

Speaking of which: my New York correspondant sends the following article of distinct relevance to all things crispy-crunchy:

START
-- KFC has been a part of American fast food tradition for many years. People,
day in and out, eat at KFC religiously. Do they really know what they are
eating?

During a recent study of KFC done at the University of New Hampshire, they
found some very upsetting facts. First of all, has anybody wondered why the
company changed their name from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC? Some thought
the reason was because fried foods have become a health issue. It's not.

The reason why they call it KFC is because they can not use the word
chicken anymore. Why? KFC does not use real chickens. They actually use
genetically manipulated organisms. These so called "chickenoids" are kept
alive by tubes that circulate chemicals and nutrients through their bodies.
They have no heads, no feathers, and no feet.

This is great for KFC because they do not have to pay as much for their raw
materials. There is no more plucking of feathers or beak and foot removal.
The FDA ordered they change all of their menu descriptions so they do not
refer specifically to chicken anywhere (note the use of words like piece
and strip). Listen to their commercials, I guarantee you will not see or
hear the word chicken.
STOP

-- Which reminds me: Ivan, that four-star genius I call my husband, said the funniest thing tonight. We were perusing the menu while playing not-so-discreet chopstick-footsie beneath the table at Ru-San's Sushi Warehouse, when all the sudden his eyes lit up and I swear, I saw the little 20-watt lightbulb go off over the little dear's head. "Just imagine," he said, looking all faraway and misty for a millisecond, "if we could switch the people who write wine list descriptions with the people who write Chinese menu descriptions..."
"You mean -- ?"
"Indeed I do, honeypumpkin, indeed I do... Think of it: a nice Cabernet described as fiery of wasabe hint of brackberry pepper with Pacific a-Rim tempura deep fried to a-rare onna inside..."
Let me add here that this was one of those rare times when I actually wet my pants more out of laughter than for Ivan's, er, benefit... "Go on, dear," I snuffled through the giggles...
"Yes, yes, don't you see the misinformative genius of it! Genre transvestitism! Your average, semi-bland California Roll presented as Round, oh so very round, with fine notes of avocado and pressed-hake-trimmings-painted-with-a-red-stripe-so-as-to-resemble-crab, a firm body of steamed rice, a surprisingly charming undertones of seaweed and pickled ginger..."
My loins assumed a wasabi-like life of their own and in my passionate urge to bring our game of chopstick-footsie to orgasmic denouement I mistakenly impaled his foot with a teriyaki skewer...
Of course, we consoled each other later in the privacy of our elephantine bedchamber, St. Patrick suffered a similar fate on the occasion of his conversion of the Celts to the one true faith (Guinness) --

time: Thursday 10 Feb 100 7:56 AM
from: Philip
host: cache.inet-systems.net
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
MESSAGE:

hey ww and Ruth -- how old are you two?

time: Friday 11 Feb 100 7:11 AM
from: Leather Nun
host: du10.cli.ptd.net
e-mail: digi@ptd.net
subject: Mr. Tickles...don't go to the light!
MESSAGE:

Hey, ww, get it straight...dwarves are never boring, it's the fucking unicorns that are a problem.
Fuck with the dwarf again and you'll know the wrath of the Leather Nun. Ask Philip, it ain't pleasant.
Lucky for him he was able to get outta the shackles.

time: Friday 11 Feb 100 8:03 AM
from: Philip
host: cache.inet-systems.net
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
MESSAGE:

Yeah, I really hate to resist anyone's contributions, but listen, ww, whoever you are -- either take part in the story-at-hand, or stay the fuck out. Go back to your My Pretty Pony Activity Stable.

time: Monday 14 Feb 100 6:06 PM
from: Lanark
host: HomeGrown.CyberX.com
e-mail: lanark@uswest.net
subject: Hoo Lordy
MESSAGE:

Oh the many things you miss when you are in that purgatory of a dead computer.
Are we perhaps out of the adolescent induced fantasy unicorn woods yet?
(And I think it pertinent to note the rather Freudian implications vis a vis
the common obsession with budding womanhood and the equestrian and the priapistic allusion one could infer from unicorn's horny appendage to perhaps explain what has come heretofore.)

time: Monday 14 Feb 100 10:58 PM
from: Terri Ahki
host: spider-tp051.proxy.aol.com
subject: Adieu to you and you and you....
MESSAGE:

Another Valentine's Day spent alone
While Ivan Mufti can't liff the phone.

So now for Ivan, that neglectful lout,
I'll set loose my porcina with her precious snout.
You know that pigs, can be trained in a pinch,
to eat up a human, or even a Grinch.
Such as Le Mufti, or his piggledy wife,
He'll escape with nothing, not even his life.

I'll lynch him, I'll gas him, I'll dose him with poison,
He'll shrivel, he'll wilt, he'll be captured in cloisson-
ne, (that priceless trinket, the porcelain kind.)
For I'll have him forever, and his corpse they'll not find.

I invite you, Philip, Leather Nun, and Lanark,
We might try a picnic, out in the park.
We could try roasting his haunch, that shriveledy chump,
And garnish with cilantro, and basil in a clump.

All this for not calling, you might say?
But he knew that he should, especially today.
It's Valentine's Day, and he's rather remiss,
He ought have called, snuck out for a piss,
Or even a card, something quite kitsch?
But he was too occupied with that lardass bitch.

It's all over now, and I think I'll move on,
to find a young plumber, maybe named Ron.
If he shows his crack, from out of his jeans,
I'll know that I'm set, whatever THAT means.

As for Mufti, who has broken my heart,
I was nothing to you, simply a tarte.
Go back to your wife, that slovenly toad,
while your heart and your penis quickly erode.
Enjoy her chihuahuas and miserable gas,
And know that you've lost your chance at this lass.

I loved you once, unconditionally true,
But I've realized your thoughts are only of
you.

time: Tuesday 15 Feb 100 9:06 AM
from: leather Nun
host: du37.cli.ptd.net
e-mail: digi@ptd.net
subject: The other white meat...
MESSAGE:

I'll have to pass on that picnic.
The Leather Nun tries to keep kosher.

Hooray! Lanark's back.
Let the spankings begin...

time: Tuesday 15 Feb 100 9:24 PM
from: Terri Ahki
host: spider-wb071.proxy.aol.com
subject: Snoo, snoo, issallnoo.
MESSAGE:

Perhaps now I'll set my sights on that handsome young man,
The one stuck in Georgia, I'm his biggest fan.

Oh dear Philip, you handsome cur,
It's here in my arms I wish that you were.

Forget Ivan Mufti, he's rather a crud,
I'll leave him his wife, he can get out of the mud.

But, you, my dear, my swellest fellow,
Mayhaps we can frolic in a tub full of jello?

Perhaps we can run, by the light of the moon,
You might soon be here, I hope before June.

Parlerons francais, and eat some trouts' eyes,
Read a few livres and kiss under the skies,
of Eastern Oregon, out in the desert,
I'll nibble your ears and drive you wanky?

I'll make up new words, and tell them to you,
I'll ravish you madly (perhaps in the loo?)
You must simply come, you must simply move,
It'll give you the chance to make your moves smoove.

You can play with my cat, he's fat as a tub,
Fly out of Atlanta, you know it's a hub.
For many an airline, for many a trip,
I'm quite darling, and ever so hip.

Forget Le Mufti, he's gone with the rain,
He broke my heart, and caused me much pain.
But you, my junebug, are quite what I need,
Forget Ron the Plumber, he can't even read.

It's you that I like, it's you that I love,
You are my light, my wisdom, my dove.
Forget the other girl, the one from the Herb,
I'll beat her ass silly out on the curb.

It's Terri for you, a saucy wee lass,
with fine curving bosoms and oh what an ass!
Perfect for you, to curl up in your sleep,
Oh do take me from Ron, he's rather a creep.

Say you'll be mine,
a late Valentine,
I'll light you a cigarette and pour you some wine.
A late yeared vintage, full and robust,
to waken your weenie with a wee bit of lust.

I can do it, I say,
I can fill you with smiles,
you simply need cross
those 3,815 miles.

time: Wednesday 16 Feb 100 4:43 PM
from: Erin
host: spider-tl052.proxy.aol.com
e-mail: eiremi@aol.com
subject: Philip
MESSAGE:

You should know very well that little I type here is in seriousness. This is a playground for fingered wit. I can be a fingered twit.

time: Sunday 20 Feb 100 12:20 AM
from: a confused bystander
host: 189.atlanta-48-49rs.ga.dial-access.att.net
subject: this place
MESSAGE:

what the hell goes on in here?

time: Monday 21 Feb 100 12:58 AM
from: A serene bystander
host: 38.229.69.9
e-mail: ggeek@mail.com
MESSAGE:

We calmly the discuss the literary and theatrical works of the great Polish-cum-Argentinian novelist and dramaturge Witold Gombrowicz. Oh, and when we're naughty we have to drop trou for the Leather Nun, who reddens our buttocks with the blade of an ancient pin-pong paddle.

time: Thursday 24 Feb 100 10:13 PM
from: Leather Nun
host: du20.cli.ptd.net
e-mail: digi@ptd.net
subject: shame on you
MESSAGE:

Telling the secrets of the Leather Nun to the general public is definitely considered naughty. It's time for someone, and you know how you are, to drop trou and assume the position...

time: Friday 25 Feb 100 12:19 AM
from: Philip
host: 38.229.69.9
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: Who shall receive the teachings of the Leather Nun?
MESSAGE:

-- All things considered, I'd have to nominate Lanark for that job. The poor lad's been offline for nearly a fortnight now, having overtaxed his motherboard and overexcited his video card with just a wee too much bare-nippled Betty Page ephemorabilia... By the time he gets it up (and running) -- and let us hope such happens sooner rather than later -- he'll be pink as a newborn baby, and much the figure of the innocent noviate meowing for a saucer of cream at the back door of the Leather Nun's convent... "I'll saucer-of-cream you!" as the heroine heard through ashamed and burning ears in the second chapter of Story of O., Part 3: Return to the Son of the Bride of the Revenge of the Chateau -- and the rest is...

time: Sunday 27 Feb 100 - Half past 3 PM
from: Lanark
host: cyberx-105.CyberX.com
e-mail: `
subject: the itchy red irritation continues
MESSAGE:

Alas, as I am consigned to the ephemeral purgatory of a nearby Cyber Cafe to type this, I'll keep this brief.
The machine continues to thrash in a deep fever. (having been given a new spine it seems now to have contracted a virus from unknown sources. (without daring to suggest sabotage, as it may just be fickleness upon the machine's parts, let me simply suggest that if you are in Minneapolis and needing computer parts or service avoid "Multimedia Planet" just as you would a syphilitic crack whore sans front teeth soliciting enticements that might give the venerable Alphonse Donatian pause.)
The big alas of the ordeal is that I am unable to enjoy any of the aforementioned Bettie Page pixilated glory. Oh, how I long to see the lovely Bettie wallpaper that lights up my monitor much to my delight. But fear not intrepid travelers and tragedians, I've got at least one more ace up my sleeve before I throw in the towel and consult a professional.

time: Monday 28 Feb 100 6:41 PM
from: Ruth
host: sja-hiper1a-92-220.dialup.slip.net
e-mail: dawnann@slip.net
subject: I am back...maybe
MESSAGE:

hello there, I was bored so I decided to write more here. since Phillip asked I am twenty-two. I hope that he wasn't planning on saying something negative. I'm thinking about going back and writing on this agian but I am not too sure if I should or not. Well tell me what you think.

time: Thursday 2 Mar 100 9:17 AM
from: Mrs. Ivan Mufti
host: 209.193.234.227
e-mail: mrs_ivan_mufti@allergist.com
subject: on returning
MESSAGE:

Ruth, I think you'll have to ask the Leather Nun about that. She was much upset, I believe -- though far be it from me to ever do something so foolish as putting words in the mouth of the Leather Nun -- she was most upset by the intrusion of a certain Tulip-Who-Wouldn't-Die, somewhere away-aways back there on the long dusty Tandem road... You might have to sweet-talk your way back into her holiness' mink-oiled graces -- and Lord knows I did not envy my husband Ivan when his own rampant stupidity caused him to fall afoul of her -- but sometimes she settles for a few hundred hours of what passes for "community service" up in those wild parts -- perhaps you might offer to take care of her leaves, dressed in the scritchy burlap robes of a penitent -- defintiely shave your head, she's got a soft spot for the "Joan of Arc" look -- but, more than anything else, dear:

READ THE STORY BEFORE YOU SUBMIT! Try and be PART of this thing, not one more of the million idiot random posters we get a day blowing our minds with their amateur erotica/thrillingly action-adventure fiction/philosophical musings of tenth runner-ups in postadolescent Sylvia Plath wannabe contests/e-borborigmy/etc.

That's my advice, Ruth.

time: Friday 3 Mar 100 11:00 PM
from: Ruth
host: sja-hiper1a-40-168.dialup.slip.net
subject: yeah!
MESSAGE:

it wasn't my fault Tulip wouldn't die! If I beg and plead maybe oh maybe the leather nun will let me polish her toenails? Pleaseee please I wanna try agian! Promise I will try not to whine or have any fuzzy unicorns unless they die fast.

time: Saturday 4 Mar 100 3:37 PM
from: The Leather Nun
host: du203.cli.ptd.net
e-mail: digi@ptd.net
subject: Holy shit ! 22? I never would have guessed
MESSAGE:

Okay, Ruth, you have my blessing. Try again.
Just remember the basics -- dwarves are good, unicorns suck.

As far as the toenail polish...one of "my boys" just did 'em for me. A lovely shade called "fuck me red". Goes so nice with my black leather habit.

time: Tuesday 14 Mar 100 2:31 PM
from: lanark
host: cyberx-105.CyberX.com
subject: bowing down to the inevitable
MESSAGE:

after much balking and hemming and hawing, I have laid my fate on the line and submitted my much battered and bespattered computation machine into the hands of a professional to replace the motherboard. If all goes well (and considering the time and expense thus far incurred, I ain't holding my breath) I should be back up by weeks end. On the plus side, I am a much better guitarist than I was prior to this nightmare.

time: Thursday 6 Apr 100 10:35 PM
from: cuddles
host: 1Cust249.tnt4.santa-clara.ca.da.uu.net
subject: Hellooooo....Ellooo....ellooo.....lloo....looo.
MESSAGE:

Is anybody here?...Ere?...ere?...ere.. Echo...echo...echo...cho..ho..

time: Thursday 13 Apr 100 1:14 PM
from: Ivan Mufti
host: 38.202.79.133
e-mail: poot@cheerful.com
MESSAGE:

I had been purposely avoiding this place, until the Unicorn Alert started bleep-bleep-bleeping down in my secret hideout...

time: Sunday 16 Apr 100 9:20 PM
from: cuddles
host: 1Cust15.tnt4.santa-clara.ca.da.uu.net
subject: unicorns etc.
MESSAGE:

Should I call the exterminator and have him fumigate the place?
And what has become of dear Mr. Welsh and his nefarious old chum Mr. Lanark?
I know I've been away awhile but one assumes that some things never change - no matter how much you neglect them.

time: Wednesday 17 May 100 10:47 PM
from: Philip
host: host-209-214-78-135.atl.bellsouth.net
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: CALLING ALL ZEALOTS!!!
MESSAGE:

OK, after months of bread-and-water webrivation, I finally have the goddamn thing at home. No more restful analog weekends, to be sure, but I AM willing to jump back in here and herd-dawg the living bejeezus out of the travesty this thing has become if cuddles, lanark, the Leather Nun et al will join with in fighting the moist dripping forces of unTandemness... anyone game? Email me...

time: Wednesday 31 May 100 1:51 AM
from: Chris
host: 207-218-69-82.nas-1.OBT.primenet.com
subject: oh dear, it's huge!
MESSAGE:

Sorry about the mess. I won't be of much help for still months to come. I'll see if I can at least trim the bulk of the current story so that it doesn't have to load with each post.

time: Wednesday 31 May 100 2:01 AM
from: CHris
host: 207-218-69-82.nas-1.OBT.primenet.com
subject: y2fray!
MESSAGE:

Ha Ha Ha! Is that a y2k bug staring at me in the face a full five months after new years!? The date says May 100! What a lousy programmer I am! Well it's a good thing I noticed given that the Tandem chat board is a mission critical application.

time: Thursday 1 Jun 100 1:19 PM
from: Philip
host: 207.43.90.126
subject: MOTS
MESSAGE:

Chris, I started a new MOTS, the old one had fizzled out months ago. Can you fix/archive the old one...?

Best of luck in your insane busyness, by the way... Mrs. Mufti sends her regards as well.

Philip

time: Friday 2 Jun 100 4:27 PM
from:
host: ip-206-163-90-131.webridge.com
MESSAGE:

Hello and welcome here! I am Paige and you are now visiting my home Internet. I give you some "What's New" on me for it has been a long time.

I have been fortunate to have earned a good money base, around $2,500, for 4 months as "hermit" in the woods in Virginia. Yes, I tell Aly that it was not a joke, really, in the US they have very strange men. One wished for a hermit to live in his forest for a goodly amount of money. It was hard work. I would only be allowed to eat forest products such as small animal, mushroom, forest bread, and wine which was allowed from the cellar. I must not shave or let hair cut but that is okay because I play chess much against Steven, who was owner, and I have to sit with no clothes on! Funny man!

You visit my homepage often and I tell you more updates. Here you ask questions. Ciao for now and say HELLO to Diet. and Viktor.

Paige

time: Friday 2 Jun 100 4:28 PM
from: Paige
host: ip-206-163-90-131.webridge.com
e-mail: frankfjord@hotmail.com
subject: Hello and Welcome Here!
MESSAGE:

time: Friday 2 Jun 100 4:36 PM
from: Page
host: ip-206-163-90-131.webridge.com
subject: To Viktor
MESSAGE:

Dear Viktor:

Aly told me you have new bicycle. Contradulations. I am excited about new job in Oregon but it hard work on the computer all day long. I work at night in the factory where we make linen for consumption by people in stores. Can you believe? Yes, it is true I have been living in US now for 2 year. It feel like much longer. Viktor, I miss you very much. You can come here and stay with me but I live on a couch at the local UNIVERSITY. They do not say anything and I sleep very late for hour or two and then I go off to work but that is okay. Viktor you let me know if you need some dollar bills, I have about $2,500 from recent exploits. I love you.

Paige

time: Sunday 4 Jun 100 - PM The big hand is on the 3 The little hand is on the 12.
from: Viktor
host: host-209-214-78-151.atl.bellsouth.net
e-mail: poot@cheerful.com
subject: dollar bills
MESSAGE:

Paige, so long I wait for you! Please send $2400.00 immediately, I am holed up in Mexican hotel "Las Putas Verdes" hiding from manager who want to kill me for non-payment of bills for room, sheets, tequilas, flautas con pollo and donkey-show. He threaten to put me in jail. -- Viktor.

time: Tuesday 6 Jun 100 9:01 PM
from: Lanark
host: xdialup184.mpls.uswest.net
e-mail: Lanark@uswest.net
subject: Did I miss anything?
MESSAGE:

After suffering the plagues of seven Egyptian curses, I have returned. Prepare the goats for ritual slaughter.

time: Monday 12 Jun 100 - Quarter to 11 PM
from: Philip
host: host-209-214-76-212.atl.bellsouth.net
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: goats
MESSAGE:

Please save one goat for me... as you and the Leather Nun well know, I have "special needs" -- society may frown upon them and persecute me like some common pre-vert, but that burnin' love just don't blow away with the 8:15... I'm a passionate man! I have needs! Desires! Hells of my own! Please, for the love of Christ, be merciful! Save me one... or two, even... your Christian charity shall not go unnoticed in the afterlife, I assure you...

time: Tuesday 13 Jun 100 10:52 AM
from: Leather Nun
host: du220.cli.ptd.net
subject: Philip's special needs
MESSAGE:

Uh, it was not "well known" to me that you had a thing for goats. I knew you loved a moose. I know you love sheep. I heard about you and the chickens but I hesitate to call that "love". And I know how much you "love" yourself...but I didn't know a damn thing about the goats.

time: Monday 19 Jun 100 - Quarter after 7 AM
from: Philip
host: 207.43.90.126
subject: goats
MESSAGE:

...well, I have to admit, I didn't know a damn thing about the goats either, until Lanark taught me...

time: Thursday 22 Jun 100 2:31 PM
from: Leather Nun
host: du202.cli.ptd.net
subject: speaking of Lanark....
MESSAGE:

What happened to him? He seems to have disappeared again.
I wonder if he's teaching those goats a thing or two...

time: Monday 26 Jun 100 11:03 AM
from: Mrs. Ivan Mufti
host: 207.43.90.126
e-mail: mrs_ivan_mufti@allergist.com
subject: lanark
MESSAGE:

...perhaps someone something "got" his "goat", eh?

time: Monday 26 Jun 100 4:11 PM
from: lanark
host: 216.160.10.64
e-mail: lanark@uswest.net
subject: no goats, just a lack of time....
MESSAGE:

I prefer to think of the days of prancing merrily through sun dappled meadows with my tin eating angora friends as a long lost youthful folly. Days spent in innocent glee amongst the thistles and hummingbrids with a long grasy stem dangling from my lip like the plume of a great green bird I had recently swallowed. It was only after attempting to introduce the corpulent and sordid Mr. Mufti to my bucking play friends that the innocence was worn from the experience. Oh the unspeakable horror of the games he liked to play. it makes me feel dirty. I must go and take a shower.....

time: Wednesday 28 Jun 100 1:20 PM
from: Ivan Mufti
host: 207.43.90.126
e-mail: imufti@allergist.com
subject: lanark's ablutions
MESSAGE:

yet were one to investigate the precise nature of that complex set of behaviors which Mr. Lanark conveniently lumps under under the phrase "taking a shower", my own youthful indiscretions with the goats would by comparison seem but the faint trail left by a dust-mite across the surface of well-used mirror...

time: Monday 9 Oct 100 8:53 AM
from: Teri Ahki
host: spider-tn082.proxy.aol.com
e-mail: eiremi@aol.com
subject: Holy Crappoli
MESSAGE:

Now I know I haven't been here for awhile, but really.... Lanark.. Philip? Comatose, boys? Or just too busy with the goats?

Ahhhh... I'll revel in the sun for you... it's so lovely here. Baaaaaaa (oh wait.. that's a sheep. OH, but they DO make those sheep shoes that you hook their back legs into... I shouldn't know that, but being from Idaho, I do.) Baaaaaa....

time: Saturday 12 May 101 10:23 PM
from: Monkey
host: spider-tm073.proxy.aol.com
e-mail: monkeylove@paxemail.com
subject: Hello
MESSAGE:

Hello. I just found this page a few days ago during my History class at school (I was working REALLY hard, huh) Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself to everyone here. I just had this strange thought that this whole site was some weird kind of electronic ghost, and that all the tandem writings just some weird lost fragment clutched my a dead man's hand. Oh well, it's late, so I don't woory too much.

time: Friday 27 Jul 101 11:25 PM
from: JCONZ Student
host: netcache1-acld.auckland.clix.net.nz
e-mail: Not telling you
subject: It's not a story, I don't know what it is!
MESSAGE:

Is there anyone in the world who has read that story and lived to tell? I could follow a cloud around easier than the story line. (Why is everyone allways putting in poems and other junk??)

time: Wednesday 8 Aug 101 7:31 PM
from: Monkey
host: spider-mtc-te053.proxy.aol.com
MESSAGE:

There's some point in it where it changes and remains basically the same story line for a while, aboutn the girl working in the hospital. Now she encountered an alien plant. So much for realism, I guess. Oh, well, no mind.

time: Saturday 29 Sep 101 2:48 PM
from: bex
host: 64.40.52.196
e-mail: bex024@hotmail.com
subject: to see whats what
MESSAGE:

This is my first time doing this but it looks like fun I am not as gifted at writing as some of you but what you write is some thing I have not seen because not alot of people I know are well, they just don't understand why I like reading and writing things that are different and out of this world but they open the door to many other worlds and different ideas.Like why is there time when, before man there was no time really they lived by when they felt hurgary they would eat and when they were tired they slept so really time isn't there people just think it is.

time: Thursday 4 Oct 101 8:17 PM
from: Bex
host: 64.40.48.101
e-mail: bex024@hotmail.com
subject: Question
MESSAGE:

what is this site all about, do we write something and put it on or do we read a story and talk about it on this site? Ssssssssssso can you tell me whats up! I think when I find out whats going on this could be alot of fun and different in many way's for me at least and I am looking forward to what you guy's write to me.
Bex

time: Sunday 21 Oct 101 3:42 AM
from: Chris
host: c1922700-a.pinol1.sfba.home.com
subject: The Tandem abyss
MESSAGE:

Hi Bex. Well the site is not about anything in particular, except something I started 6 years ago because the web was "neat", and I needed a way to occupy my time between biochemistry experiments and saw the future in learning web technologies.

This would be more fun if I had time to keep it up (which I don't at the moment) and keep an eye on things. The story needs editing, and trimming - but it'll have to wait just a few more months until I'm done with my dissertation. At one point I had the idea of making a zine out of the Tandom stories with artwork and all. Maybe someday. I think things are in too much disarray from my neglect to keep people interested in checking in here the way we used to on a somewhat regular basis.

time: Tuesday 4 Dec 101 10:26 AM
from: lilith
host: spider-tm063.proxy.aol.com
e-mail: lilith@blueyedangel.zzn.com
subject: writing
MESSAGE:

hello...will someone be kind, not laugh at my ignorance, and kindly tellme the correct process for adding a line or two to this illustrious collection of penned art? I really can't figure it out...i've tried...I've taken my prozac and ritalin, but i'm still baffled at how it's submitted. thank you all so very very much.

time: Thursday 27 Dec 101 10:16 PM
from: Monkey
host: 41-pool2.ras10.ohclv.tii-dial.net
e-mail: monkeylove@paxemail.com
subject: writing some penned art
MESSAGE:

Ok, lemme see if I can remember. First, this is the Members Only part, so you need to register. Then go to Assume the Muse, it's there at the bottom of one of the screens. That will take you to a place where you can se the whole story and add your part to it. Hope this helps.

time: Tuesday 1 Jan 102 6:50 PM
from: Philip Welsh
host: user-1120mq1.dsl.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishanthropy@yahoo.com
MESSAGE:

Mssr. Seidel, methinks you need to hire a cleaning lady for this place -- I poke my long nose in here after much time away, and oy, vey, the cobwebs...

time: Monday 28 Jan 102 3:29 AM
from: Chris
host: 63-93-102-192.oak.ev1.net
e-mail: seidel@pangloss.com
subject: cawbey-webers
MESSAGE:

Well Philip, good to see you around again. You're right, I'm years behind keeping the story trimmed and proper. The day will come however. It's all there somewhere. I did a little trimming just now and will make a nice stew with the scraps.

time: Saturday 2 Feb 102 2:50 PM
from: cuddles
host: user-vcaul4s.dsl.mindspring.com
e-mail: quiche65@earthlink.net
subject: magnetism
MESSAGE:

Isn't it strange how we seem to be drawn back to this place after such long periods of dormancy? Isn't it about time to do a reunion show where we can all sit around and talk about what it was like in the good ol' days?

time: Saturday 16 Feb 102 3:36 PM
from: Philip Welsh
host: user-1120g3n.dsl.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishanthropy@yahoo.com
MESSAGE:

yeah, maybe we can do a golden oldies tour w/ Jefferson Airplane and the Box Tops! Lanark's band (The Bee Family, check 'em out at www.mp3.com ) can open for us, and the Leather Nun can MC...

anyway: hello cuddles, hello Chris!

I'm halfway through a new novel at home, so I'm here only sporadically...

interesting thing: this woman I met on the web decided to do a little google search on me, to make sure I wasn't Wanted for dumping toxic pasta and kidnapped bunny-rabbits into the public water supply or anything -- she wrote me back and wanted to know: "are you the proctologist in Poughkeepsie, or the freak who contributes paragraphs to this weird online novel site?"

time: Saturday 6 Jul 102 4:16 PM
from: cuddles
host: user-vcaunpc.dsl.mindspring.com
e-mail: quiche65@earthlink.net
subject: In case you check in in the next few months...
MESSAGE:

So, Philip, what did you tell her? It must have been difficult to admit you live in Poughkeepsie!

time: Saturday 20 Jul 102 11:50 PM
from: Philip
host: user-1120idd.dsl.mindspring.com
MESSAGE:

What the hell's wrong with Poughkeepsie?

time: Monday 9 Sep 102 3:52 AM
from: chris
host: adsl-64-172-183-166.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net
e-mail: seidel@pangloss.com
subject: almost......
MESSAGE:

Not dead yet. Still here. Any week now I should have time to clean up all the mess. I finally wrote and turned in my manuscript. Thus very soon I will have nothing but time on my hands - that commodity which has been so fleeting and scarce over the last 9 years.

time: Wednesday 2 Oct 102 8:17 PM
from: Philip
host: user-vcauh1o.dsl.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishanthropy@yahoo
subject: Favorite Patsy Cline Song: "I Fall To Thesis..."
MESSAGE:

I have a friend in North Carolina who took so long to finish her Master's thesis that when she was about to finally receive it, I sent around a joke email called "Petition Not to Allow Gretchen to Complete Her Thesis" to the effect that do do so, the university was depriving us, her friends, of a boundless source of amusement...

Only now, doing grad school applications and studying for the damn GREs, do I suspect it might come back to haunt me someday...

Anyway, Chris, congratulations, I know you've been at it for a possum's age.

time: Thursday 3 Oct 102 - Quarter after 6 PM
from: Philip Welsh
host: user-vcauhe7.dsl.mindspring.com
e-mail: as above
subject: Tulip
MESSAGE:

For the old-timers: Tulip now has a home-page:

http://www.dreamstrike.com/unicorn/

"forewarned is one-horned," isn't that how the old saw goes?

time: Tuesday 12 Nov 102 3:58 PM
from: Monkey
host: cache-ra07.proxy.aol.com
e-mail: monkeylove@paxemail.com
subject: my oh my
MESSAGE:

egads, what a truly long time it has been since I've been here. I was ust at another site, and in my profile I listed this site as a place to go (well, actually just pangloss.com) Oh, and Mr Welsh, I tried that web page you listed and it didn't work. oh well, I'll try again later.

time: Thursday 6 Mar 103 2:24 PM
from: Philip
host: 204.126.250.97
e-mail: fishanthropy@yahoo.com
subject: well
MESSAGE:

...you didn't miss much, the link was to a "Furries" site

time: Thursday 6 Mar 103 2:25 PM
from: Philip
host: 204.126.250.97
e-mail: fishanthropy@yahoo.com
subject: well
MESSAGE:

...you didn't miss much, the link was to a "Furries" site

time: Tuesday 8 Apr 103 9:35 PM
from: Monkey
host: cache-mtc-aa06.proxy.aol.com
e-mail: monkeylove@paxemail.com
subject: poo monkeys
MESSAGE:

dang, 'furries' are quite interesting, there was some show i saw about it all, quite fascinating...

time: Friday 16 May 103 2:32 PM
from: cuddles
host: user-vcaulke.dsl.mindspring.com
e-mail: quiche65@earthlink.net
subject: Checking in
MESSAGE:

Well, it's been almost a year since the last time I checked in. It sure is messy. But don't feel bad, Chris. I'm a pretty poor housekeeper myself.

time: Thursday 22 May 103 7:59 AM
from: Nina
host: 137.195.176.12
e-mail: nn2@hw.ac.uk
subject: The tandem story
MESSAGE:

I think the story needs editing bad time!

www.eccentrix.com/members/ninamelanienegrusmit/

time: Wednesday 28 May 103 12:18 AM
from: mononoke
host: 137.195.176.12
e-mail: negrun@yahoo.com
subject: Hi their all you tandem wriers
MESSAGE:

o you want to write a tandem story on something which is not (yet) one.
Basically; on www.hwusa.org/forum/ in the Unilife there is a post can't take it any more; ny "secret teller". A friend of mine created it and posted the initial message for a laugh; (declaring love for a member of staff, though not revealing names).
The other posts go on assuming that the secret teller is me (Nina), which is not true, (ok I did post some stuff to make it juicy, but then deleted them 'cause it was going just too far)
Right the password is iunie25
You decide if they guessed or not, you decide what happed/is going to happen next; so pleasev feel free to add your creative genius to this thread!

time: Wednesday 28 May 103 12:19 AM
from: mononoke
host: 137.195.176.12
e-mail: negrun@yahoo.com
subject: Hi there all you tandem wriers
MESSAGE:

time: Wednesday 28 May 103 12:47 AM
from:
host: 137.195.176.12
subject: test
MESSAGE:

onjon

time: Wednesday 28 May 103 12:55 AM
from:
host: 137.195.176.12
subject: test
MESSAGE:

klnjln

time: Wednesday 14 Jan 104 - PM The big hand is on the 1 The little hand is on the 39.
from: Cheryl
host: host12.vista.ca
subject: Bad boyfriend alert!
MESSAGE:

I dated a guy in Toronto, Canada with the initials P.M. of Greek background. He was a LIAR and a CHEAT and he lead me on for many years until I smartened up and finally kicked him to the curb. I just wanted to warn as many ladies as I could. Thanks.

time: Wednesday 21 Apr 104 7:53 AM
from: Soundsnatcher
host: 68.185.203.232.ts46v-03.dntn.tx.charter.com
subject: Get Drunk and Spelunk
MESSAGE:

Hello? Anybody here?

Wow, it sure is dark...and just listen to that echo...This place must be enormous! I wonder if there are any bats, or stalactites; I don't hear any twittering, or water dripping...

I just got here myself. Saw some writing on the wall about a bad boyfriend. Poor girl...all by herself in here, I suppose. Looks like no one's been here in months. Maybe I'll just stay here for a bit and catch a smoke; No one's around to object, that's for sure! Then I'll try to find my way out.

I'll come back here from time to time. It's kind of peaceful...

Snatch

time: Thursday 27 May 104 3:53 AM
from: Laurie
host: dvpp-p-144-134-252-174.prem.tmns.net.au
subject: I'm here.
MESSAGE:

Yes, I'm here.

It's hard to find your way in this place, no map or directions. And it is pretty empty of people.

time: Tuesday 29 Jun 104 3:55 PM
from: cuddles
host: user-vcaunje.dsl.mindspring.com
e-mail: quiche65@earthlink.net
subject: The vast emptiness of the lounge
MESSAGE:

It wasn't always this way. There was a time when this place was vibrant and alive and visited by many colorful characters. One could come here and join in lively discussions and humurous name-calling. Back when the story had a plot line and made sense. Alas, they've all moved on and forgotten about the Tandem Story and left the lounge to become a vast, dark, lonely, echoing cave of distant memories. I come back now and then, just on the odd chance that someone from the halcyon days will return and pick up the threads of the old story but all I find is the empty lounge and a story gone horribly out of control, like a neglected garden, desperately in need of pruning. How do people still find this place?

time: Sunday 11 Jul 104 0:03 AM
from: Laurie
host: dvpp-p-144-134-252-107.prem.tmns.net.au
MESSAGE:

We find it using Google. :)

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