time: Oct 16 17:44 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris Seidel
e-mail: seidel@pangloss.com
subject: Welcome
MESSAGE:
Hi All. Welcome to the message board. Feel free to say hello to your fellow authors, or to simply make comments or suggestions. Remember to be nice to each other. Happy writing. -Chris
time: Oct 16 19:04 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles (aka SandyR)
host: 208.255.84.87
e-mail: csrichards@earthlink.net
subject: tandem story
MESSAGE:
Philip Welsh - You rock! I love the way you write.
Carolyn - Where did you go?
time: Oct 16 23:24 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
e-mail: seidel@pangloss.com
subject: regards
MESSAGE:
Philip Welsh sent me email today asking that I give his regards to you (SandyR).
Here are his words, "...send my salutations to Ignacious and cuddles....I thought everyone worked off each other so well in that last round."
So it occured to me to put up a message board so people could compliment each other's handiwork if they choose.
I too wish Carolyn would come back. She was a great contributor (as are you).
time: Oct 18 11:56 (Pacific Time)
from: Sandy R
host: 208.255.83.150
e-mail: csrichards@earthlink.net
subject: regards
MESSAGE:
Thanks for relaying the message (and the nice compliments). I think this message board is a great idea. I have been having a lot of fun at this site for quite a while now. I did notice there seems to be a big chunk of writing missing from between books 3 and 4 (I think) and I was just curious about what happened to it. There was some very funny stuff in there.
Egad. What a sharp mind you have! After poking around through my somewhat disorganized piles of files, I found two chapters at the end of book3 that I had overlooked. So I've added them back to book3, increasing it's length from 5 to 7 chapters. Thanks for letting me know, I appreciate it. There was some good stuff in there.
time: Oct 19 18:25 (Pacific Time)
from: Sandy R
host: 153.37.12.182
subject: chapter 3
MESSAGE:
Thanks for finding that. I only happen to remember it because it's where I first came in and who could forget that Zsa Zsa Gabor thing, not to mention Biffy the Prom Queen Slayer and Joel's bubble gum space ship. I'm really glad you found it.
time: Oct 23 11:22 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip Welsh
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com OR fishie_pie@hotmail.net
subject: If only that damned shrapnel would let ME get a word in...
MESSAGE:
Hey, cuddles, you rock too!
As do you, Chris, for putting this message board up....
time: Oct 23 12:56 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip Welsh
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com
subject: parasites and hygiene
MESSAGE:
...But all of you beware of Lanark -- he has pinworms.
time: Oct 27 14:28 (Pacific Time)
from: Myles na gCopaleen
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: flannobrien@swim2birds
MESSAGE:
The Workingman's Friend
by Jem Casey, the Poet of the Pick
Being a celebration of Dublin's famous Plain Porter, a delightful and refreshing potation now sadly extinct.
When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
When money's tight and is hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say that you need a change,
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
In times of trouble and lousy strife,
You still have got a darlint plan,
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN
"There's one thing in that pome, permanence, if you know what I mean.
That pome, I mean to say, is a pome that'll be heard
wherever the Irish race is wont to gather, it'll live as long as there's a hard root
of an Irishman left by the Almighty on this planet,
mark my words."
time: Oct 28 16:38 (Pacific Time)
from: Lanark
host: 12.75.136.65
e-mail: ignavia@worldnet.att.net
subject: pinworms.
MESSAGE:
I just discovered this board. great thing it is too. thank you, sir.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to categorically state that I do not now, nor have I ever been afflicted with pinworms. Mr. Welsh is a filthy slanderer and if He were standing before me at this moment would receive the back of my goat skin gloves.
It was ringworm. (and that isn't even a proper worm, it's a fungus. and show me any man, woman or babe who hasn't had a bit of fungus now and again and I'll show you a creature who hasn't lived a full life.)
and besides Mr. Welsh had halitosis and a spotty bum.
time: Oct 29 11:22 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 208.255.73.44
e-mail: csrichards@earthlink.net
subject: Jesus Christ and pinworms
MESSAGE:
Phillip Welsh you are a damn funny man!
Hey Lanark, what's with your sausage fixation?
time: Oct 29 14:22 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip Welsh
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com
subject: a sound mind and an hygienic corpus...
MESSAGE:
We aims to please, ma'am...
***** Hey, this if for anyone living in NYC and environs. I have a writing group going on Sunday afternoons. Mostly fiction, but poetry, screenplays, highly disinformative celebrity press releases, etc. are not unwelcome. Tired of having sand kicked in your face? We have a slot or two open yet for ambitious word-tweakers. No, there is no charge. Yes, disturbing fetishes involving vegetables, industrial solvents and the 9 bodily openings provoke a viciously competitive favoritism in yours truly. E-mail me back if interested.
time: Oct 29 14:31 (Pacific Time)
from: Theodore Bundy, dec.
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com
subject: Who put the benzedrine in Mrs. Murphy's ovaltine?
MESSAGE:
Hey, Chris, what Mass Book are we in now, 8 or 9?
time: Oct 29 18:04 (Pacific Time)
from: Lanark
host: 12.75.167.154
e-mail: ignavia@worldnet.att.net
subject: Sausage
MESSAGE:
Jimmy Dean is my spiritual godfather
time: Oct 31 07:05 (Pacific Time)
from: Carolyn
host: 24.226.33.100
e-mail: celamb@cgo.wave.ca
subject: hi
MESSAGE:
I just wanted to say hi, I'm back again, and thanks for the award. Someone wanted to know what happened to me, so I'll write it. I guess I was fed up with all the people who abruptly changed the subject of the whole story just so they could write about sex. So I put the main characters in a very dangerous situation and left. If Sandy R of someone else wanted to save them, they could. If someone wanted to kill them, they could. I wasn't going to write any more. Then a little while ago I wanted to know what really happened to them, so I read the story, and I've decided to start contributing again. =)
time: Nov 1 15:16 (Pacific Time)
from: Sandy R
host: 153.37.7.223
e-mail: csrichards@earthlink.net
subject: The Fictional Five
MESSAGE:
Welcome back, Carolyn. What do you think of what was written while you were gone? It seems rather appropriate that you chose to come back on Halloween. But I'm glad you're back and I can't wait to see where the story goes.
time: Nov 2 10:45 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com
subject: Odds and ends
MESSAGE:
Carolyn:
Your legend preceded your return with more presence than a Sasquatch. Welcome back.
Chris:
The reason for that question a little while back about which book we're in is that there seems to be a chunk of text missing between the end of book 8 and the currently developing section.
Cuddles:
Those last ones were lovely.
time: Nov 2 11:21 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail:
subject:
MESSAGE:
But watch out for this Lanark character. I don't know what government he's working for, but its interests obviously don't run parallel to America's. Frankly, I don't trust him -- he strikes me as the type who'd hang himself and leave the dishes from his Last Meal to be washed up by whichever unfortunate party happened to find the body.
time: Nov 2 19:49 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 208.255.83.235
subject: shrapnel and the wrath of god
MESSAGE:
thankyou, for the nice words Phillip. I must say I was in tears reading your last two entries. Inspirational! I will keep my guard up against that Lanark. He is rather suspicious, what with killing off the fictional five and all.
time: Nov 3 00:56 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
subject: various things
MESSAGE:
Welcome back Caroline. I share your fed-upedness at times, and was fond of your valiant efforts to bring the story back on line when it went off track due to the shortcomings of others.
Philip, the missing chunk of text is at hand and just has to be edited and added to book 8 or split up and used for books 9 and 8. It depends on the story and my time (I've been a bit busy lately).
time: Nov 3 08:15 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail:
subject: There are spies among us
MESSAGE:
Yes, there have recently come into my hands certain intelligence reports which intimate the possibility that our own Lanark may be in cahoots with none other than Injun Joe...
time: Nov 3 08:52 (Pacific Time)
from: Lanark
host: 12.75.167.243
e-mail: ignavia@worldnet.att.net
subject: Injun Joe
MESSAGE:
I don't know what Phillip is talking about. The last time I saw Injun Joe he was setting off whaling in the Pequod with Tom, Becky and Huck Finn in his motley crew. Only he was calling himself Ahab then. He refused to recognize me.
(And after all I did for him when he thought he was Cardinal Richlieu!)
time: Nov 3 12:33 (Pacific Time)
from: Cardinal Richelieu
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com
subject: Les Gilligans flambées
MESSAGE:
So if what you're saying is true -- unless I'm missing something besides my leg, damn that albino whale, nyar-har-har -- then that would mean Vashondra is actually Moby. Mike is Ishmael and the shrapnel is Queequeg...
I think we are onto something here.
time: Nov 3 13:39 (Pacific Time)
from: Elijah
host: 12.75.167.182
e-mail: ignavia@worldnet.att.net
subject: the whiteness of my whale
MESSAGE:
Aye Matey, as shore as I stood by the dock a-watchin' the damned board the boat for their doom, but I spied it out that the first mate Stubbs was Meredith as the shades slipped o'er the sides. and call me wrong if ye will, but that demon spearsman Fedallah looked for all the world to be a naked dwarf by the name o' Mr Tickles.
time: Nov 3 14:30 (Pacific Time)
from: Spiderman
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: see above
subject: Call me Fishmeal
MESSAGE:
Believe him not! This saboteur counts among his close friends members of the Hong Kong Triage, the Barbie Liberation Army, and the Legion of Doom! Trust him not! He's armed with his signature 'giant exploding fake donkey full of ink' -- stand back, I'll ensare him in my electric Spidey-web...
time: Nov 4 14:10 (Pacific Time)
from: jimmy olson
host: 12.75.135.100
e-mail: DailyPlanetnews.org
subject: Holy Smokes!
MESSAGE:
Golly Gee Willickers! Look out Spiderman! Doctor Octopus is behind you with his subatomic space defribulizer raygun! Spidey! Hey Spidey! Oh golly! He'll never get out of this one!
time: Nov 4 14:44 (Pacific Time)
from: Sub-Mariner
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: post_restante@TheLostCityOfAtlantis
subject: Here I come to save the...
MESSAGE:
Have no fear, arachnoid ally, for the Sub-Mariner draweth nigh! My mighty trident shall smite these evildoers, just as soon as he finishes giving his lunch half an hour to digest, so as not to get cramps in the water...
time: Nov 4 15:05 (Pacific Time)
from: lex luthor
host: 12.75.135.41
e-mail: evilarchvillain.net
subject: not so fast fishboy
MESSAGE:
Not if I have anything to say about it. My robotic sushi worms are already beginning their evil work in your deeds in your small intestines. soon I'll be unstoppable and thousands of innocent little old ladies will be feeding their cats little tins of sperm whale under the guise of seafood delight. <insert manic laugh here>
time: Nov 4 15:33 (Pacific Time)
from: Vashondra
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com
subject: Upset stomachs
MESSAGE:
nice work, pH, but I just HAD to vomit. No amount of soothing could defuse the war going on in stomach. And say, what's that smell? Smells like...roast Gilligan!
As for you, Lex Luthor -- your evil schemes shall not stand up to my Justice Ray, an electropsychological ray which humbles its victim into a paralyzing comprehension of the nefariousness of his evildoings!
time: Nov 4 19:02 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 153.37.12.178
subject: Technicolor yawns
MESSAGE:
I have never in my life experienced such a colorful way of describing puke and puking. Very nice work.
time: Nov 5 09:00 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com
subject: Trommeln in die Nacht
MESSAGE:
kudos to you as well, cuddles, for sticking the necessary literary finger down her throat to bring the Bozoti natives (quite literally) up --
as for everyone else, let me reiterate how me we need to keep our collective eye on this self-styled "lanark" character -- whoever he is, he's up to no good.
time: Nov 5 20:11 (Pacific Time)
from: lanark
host: 12.75.135.108
e-mail: ignavia@worldnet.att.net
subject: Phillip's cryptic messages revealed!
MESSAGE:
I see it now. Yes, it's just like one of those old spy movies or an ancient Agatha Christie text. Can't you people see? He's pointing the evil finger at me to keep suspicion from falling on himself. Yes! It was Phillip all along! He put the arsenic in Old Mrs. Grady's morning tea and then walked down the moors wearing Old Judge Frothworthy's Mack. It was him that the gardener, Barney Pendlestone saw. He also planted the nefarious letter in the Wickensham's family bible that revealed Sara Timsdale's true identity as the vicker's long lost daughterby Mary Bimshandle the scullery maid. It was him all along!
time: Nov 6 12:53 (Pacific Time)
from: Watson
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com
subject: Pots calling kettles black...
MESSAGE:
Say what you will, but at least I wasn't the one who put the benzedrine in Mrs. Murphy's Ovaltine...
time: Nov 8 20:13 (Pacific Time)
from: Happy Fellow
host: 153.37.10.87
e-mail: csrichards@earthlink.net
subject: Hey, what happened to maddymaddymoodymoody?
MESSAGE:
It's gone, now my segue has lost is point of reference -- well, make of it what you will. At least Gilligan is gone (for now?).
time: Nov 9 13:48 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: 128.32.177.184
e-mail: seidel@pangloss.com
subject: maddymaddymoodymoody
MESSAGE:
Oooops! I deleted the 4 posts of random amounts of maddymaddymoodymoody and other characters that somone had fed into the story. It seemed as if that person was trying to convince themselves that they could post lists of garbage characters, and it really would show up in the middle of the story!
However if you want me to insert something above your post to make your point ofreference relevant I can, just let me know.
time: Nov 10 10:57 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: asa33-fl@asac.com
subject: maddymaddymoodymoody
MESSAGE:
I smell a rat. Such diabolical posting can only be the work of Boris and Natasha!
time: Nov 10 13:42 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: ?????
subject:
MESSAGE:
Also, I have to recommend to everybody this book I just found which seems to be the work of one sick individual sitting alone at home playing tandem-story with his multiple personalities. A Night at the Movies, by Robert Coover. It's a hoot.
Hey cuddles, whatta ya mean, Gilligan's gone?
time: Nov 11 16:26 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 153.37.12.44
e-mail: csrichards@earthlink.net
subject: Gilligan
MESSAGE:
Well, that was actually my husband who said the G-boy was gone. And as a point of fact, his flesh was cooked away by the bozoti and when Vash barfed him up it was only his brain which she proceeded to inhale up her nose. So technically, yes, Gilligan is gone, but his brain still exhists. How ludicrous did that sound?
time: Nov 13 08:09 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: Origami of Conspicuousness & Borth of the Tricameral Mime
MESSAGE:
Hey Chris, I come into work this morning and it's Jake in the library...it's killing me, what the fuck finally happened w/ Neenor and the girls?
cuddles & Lanark -- ace work!
time: Nov 13 14:51 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: 128.32.177.184
e-mail:
subject:
MESSAGE:
Hey man, I 'll post that stuff as soon as I get a free moment. I've been crammed against the wall the last few days.
time: Nov 16 11:10 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail:
subject:
MESSAGE:
Oh, Chris, hope that didn't smack of lack of appreciation, you must be busy as hell.
Lanark wears white socks.
time: Nov 16 15:11 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 208.255.86.96
e-mail:
subject: new book already?
MESSAGE:
Wow, I'm out of touch for a few days and we're on to something completely different already. Well, time to catch up.
time: Nov 17 14:56 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail:
subject:
MESSAGE:
ouch, cuddles...!
time: Nov 17 15:05 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 153.37.9.222
e-mail:
subject:
MESSAGE:
Sorry, I would have had him jab Jake in the nose but how could he do that from a wheel chair?
time: Nov 18 20:59 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 208.255.84.111
e-mail:
subject: not to busy at work, eh Philip?
MESSAGE:
Hmmmmmmm....
time: Nov 19 08:46 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: men@work
subject:
MESSAGE:
Listen, if they pay me to do this...
time: Nov 19 17:21 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles sokolov
host: 153.36.252.236
e-mail:
subject: Lil' Serge-y
MESSAGE:
You got it goin' on, pal!
time: Nov 20 12:22 (Pacific Time)
from: Ebeneezer Spuge
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: Dissecting those infernal Russian masterpieces
MESSAGE:
Stevie & the "Ghost of Masturbation Past" -- nice touch, cuddles!
time: Nov 20 12:23 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail:
subject:
MESSAGE:
Lanark -- come back! I was only joking about the white socks...
time: Nov 23 09:33 (Pacific Time)
from: Lucky Pierre
host: 208.192.231.247
e-mail:
subject:
MESSAGE:
kudos to Lanark for penning/recording the truly perverted "Mr. Tickles Show" theme song...
time: Nov 23 15:07 (Pacific Time)
from: Lanark
host: 206.145.121.17
e-mail: ignavia@worldnet.att.net
subject: The mr tickles show
MESSAGE:
featuring the Bob Denver dancers and Harvey Kietel as that grumpy old pederast Old Doc Rectum.
and hey, where is everybody? the story is getting to be nearly a minority effort.
time: Dec 4 13:43 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 153.36.254.219
e-mail:
subject: where is everybody?
MESSAGE:
Here I am!
time: Dec 7 14:24 (Pacific Time)
from: richard
host: 152.163.206.188
e-mail: shakkin@aol.com
subject: pofanity
MESSAGE:
ppl.- things can be humorous, even if they dont involve graphic descriptions of sexual behaviors. i think alot of us would appreciate it if you kept our stories to a pg-13 rating. write on.
time: Dec 9 08:00 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: 199.99.190.100
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: pedantic richard, wherever you came from...
MESSAGE:
What century are you from? Wake up, Sir, I say...
time: Dec 9 12:57 (Pacific Time)
from: Lanark
host: 12.75.167.209
e-mail: ignavia@worldnet.att.net
subject: descriptive deviant behaviours
MESSAGE:
Perhaps you are too harsh on the poor lad, Phillip. He's merely contending that he'd prefer a bit less ribaldry and more wholesome family fare. You know, PG-13, like a good and rousing John Hughes film. Think Molly Ringwald. that's the spirit m'lad.
time: Dec 9 17:35 (Pacific Time)
from: Me, myself and I
host: 204.186.33.9
e-mail: digi@ptd.net
subject: Can't we all just get along?
MESSAGE:
Hey, what about those of us that love the current story and think Philip,
Lanark and cuddles are doing a beautiful job working together.
Richard, after reading the above posts about Lanark's white socks and fungus
problems and Philip's spotted ass and halitosis, it's clear that they are in
need of an outlet for their sexual energies (besides masturbation). The Christian thing to do would be to allow them this safe outlet. It keeps them off the streets so the rest of us are safe.
time: Dec 10 15:39 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 153.37.10.105
e-mail: csrichards@earthlink.net
subject: content
MESSAGE:
Oh, I don't know, seems pretty pg-13 to me already. Mostly toilet humor. Not too explicit. Ringwald or ribald, hmmm.
You, yourself and ... you
Thanks for the kind words and sage advice!
time: Dec 10 17:58 (Pacific Time)
from: Me, Myself and I
host: 204.186.33.81
e-mail: digi@ptd.net
subject: It's a beautiful thing
MESSAGE:
cuddles-
Thank you for the story.
I love this one and would hate to see it change.
I believe the complaint may be the work of Ken Starr and his evil minions.
The hell with 'em, they can subscribe to Reader's Digest.