time: Mar 12 08:41 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: user-38ld1ht.dialup.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: Monty's imaginary decapitation
MESSAGE:

Carolyn, that's why it's important to read — carefully — what has been going on in the story before you post, if this is really going to be a tandem effort. Especially in the Member's Only story. Otherwise you risk missing a lot of important turns in the plot.

As for stealing sentences: it's absolutely fine to do, there's a whole established tradition-precedent-ritual to it, and even in these jumbled chaotic post-post-post-post-post-modern literary times, the only thing resembling a rule or code of honor is that you should give credit where credit is due.

time: Mar 12 15:58 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 1Cust116.tnt1.santa-clara.ca.da.uu.net
subject: Monty's Darth Vader costume
MESSAGE:

You are right Chris. And because all that was chalked up to a vision, the Higher Powers in the Tiki bar suffered the same fate - merely a vision. This is one of the things that bugs be about the whole "then she woke up/came to her senses" thing. Even if we (the regulars) think a particular entry doesn't make sense or ruins the story or we just don't like it, it's much more interesting and challenging to try to fit that into the story in a way that does make sense instead of just writing it off as an hallucination. That's why I left Monty in the Darth Vader suit when he hadn't actually been decapitated after all. Okay, I think that horse is good and dead so I'll stop beating it now.

time: Mar 12 17:43 (Pacific Time)
from: Carolyn
host: cgowave-9-07.cgocable.net
e-mail: celamb@cgo.wave.ca
subject: hallucinations (this message is not one)
MESSAGE:

It bugs me too. Especially since I was the one that wrote about both Barbara being insane and Monty turning into Darth Vader.

Also, when people write "then she woke up" I tend to be confused about exactly what was a hallucination. That's why I thought Monty was still (mostly) dead.

time: Mar 12 18:32 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: yours is bigger than mine ;-|
MESSAGE:

I suppose some people suffer from a form of "imagination envy", and have a hard time going with surreal scenarios.

time: Mar 12 19:06 (Pacific Time)
from: Abe Frohman
host: proxy2-external.etntwn1.nj.home.com
e-mail: abelard@home.com
subject: A question from the ether...
MESSAGE:

I was somewhat disappointed, after having posted the the rather "appetizing" segment of the third chapter, to discover that I couldn't access the full story to see where it went after that--I certainly would have liked to have added a few more tasty tidbits! Now the same thing is happening with the Doughnut Dwarf scene--I know that the story has three characters at this point, but only two were mentioned by name in the lead-in paragraph, Adam and Muff. I apologize for the fact that my first posting to this board is a query, but I'd like to do what I can to keep the story flowing when I drop in now and again to add my own unique colors to the pastiche...

time: Mar 12 19:50 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: Abe and MOTS
MESSAGE:

Abe the full story is completely accessible. Simply push the "submit" button on
the story page (you can push it even if you haven't filled out the form) and you'll see the current ongoing chapter, and links to the other previous chapters.
I'll fix it so that there's a conspicuous/less confusing link for viewing "Current Title".

Also, to everyone else, err those who don't have passwords for MOTS, I just finished the automatic signup thingy, so signing up for membership couldn't be easier!

time: Mar 13 14:31 (Pacific Time)
from: Carolyn
host: cgowave-9-07.cgocable.net
e-mail: celamb@cgo.wave.ca
subject: oops
MESSAGE:

I was pretty sure not much had been added to the story so I went ahead and wrote something without checking what had been written before it. Could Chris change "Cupcake goblins" to "koffee kobolds" in my latest addition to the Geraldine story?

time: Mar 13 16:12 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: Cupcake Goblins are cool
MESSAGE:

Ok Carolyn, I changed it. Should the cupcakes in the line below be changed to something about coffee as well?

"It's - it's - the key to the 7-11 supply room! With all the bagels, dough\
nuts, and cupcakes you could ever want!"

time: Mar 13 22:04 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: This could be a lot of fun if not a big waste of time
MESSAGE:

Hey maybe we should form a production company called Tandem Productions and put out a zine and some mpegs of the story a la "prairie home companion" style. Even in a noisy lab with the standard Mac microphone it was easy to record the first blip of MoTS with realaudio.

time: Mar 14 13:55 (Pacific Time)
from: Carolyn
host: cgowave-9-07.cgocable.net
e-mail: celamb@cgo.wave.ca
subject: Tandem Productions
MESSAGE:

What's a mpeg?

Would we produce anything else besides that? Maybe some T-shirts? We could publish some of our best stories in novel book form (Chris would need to name stories 5-9). We could set up a Tandem Story Ice Cream Store with weird flavors named after our stories (another reason to name those stories), for example "Bananas in Springtime" could taste like bananas. We could invent a Sim Tandem Story CD-ROM. We could put "www.pangloss.com/cgi-bin/suid/~pangloss/tanbrd.cgi" on all our merchandise (except the ice cream), and if that's too long Chris could rearrange everything and move to "www.TANDEMPRODUCTIONS.com". We could put up posters for publicity. We could rent some of those annoying little "a word from one of our sponsors" thingies and maybe some of those great big advertising signs that everyone can see. And maybe - just maybe - if we had the right kind of story, without any hallucinations or gory murders or ghosts or people changing the subject or other things that are hard to depict using live actors, we could adapt it into - ta da! - a MOVIE!!! Of course, there probably isn't a story that meets those requirements. If Chris happens to have some computer animation (regular animation is probably too much to ask) equipment in his lab it would be easier.

As for time... don't we have a lot of it this March Break (or is it just me that gets a break and you guys have to keep on with your jobs)?

time: Mar 14 14:54 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
MESSAGE:

Allright, allright, I get the point. It was just an idea.

An mpeg is a type of format for recording and listening to things. You've heard of books-on-tape so I thought why not Tandem Stories on mpeg? BTW way I hate advertising, and I avoid sites like geocities.com like the plague because of their pop up advertising windows, and other bad experiences I've had with them. I don't have much interest in commercial ventures, unless there's some real value behind what's being sold.

Spring break simply means that graduate students get to spend more time in lab and be hassled less by undergraduates who are off to Cabo San Lucas getting wasted and well, other crazy things.

time: Mar 14 15:33 (Pacific Time)
from: Lanark
host: 206.145.121.17
subject: Mpegs
MESSAGE:

Actually, I rather like the idea of the stories being read out loud. (although some judicious editing might be necessary) You've got a nice speaking voice there, Chris.
Do you know a good resource for learning to encode the Mpegs?
(Without committing myself I can say that I've got a home recording studio and I've always wanted to do a little radio play on it.)
I guess, the real question is how big can the chunks of story be and who else is up for it?

time: Mar 14 15:34 (Pacific Time)
from: Abe Frohman
host: proxy2-external.etntwn1.nj.home.com
e-mail: abelard@home.com
subject: Don't depress me
MESSAGE:

All of this talk about Spring Break and the concomitant debauchery of Cabo San Lucas, Cancun and similar fun spots is depressing the hell out me...you're making me feel REALLY old. As the snow falls outside, I'm reminded (sadly) of the fact that there was once a time when I didn't have to get up at six in the morning to catch a train into the city. So just stop it.

time: Mar 14 16:52 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
e-mail: seidel@pangloss.com
subject: oh the humanity!
MESSAGE:

Abe, If you're not depressed and alienated how are you supposed to come up with good writing for the story?

I'm glad you like the idea of presenting some of the fine tandemness in other formats Lanark. I think there's some cool potential to be exorcised. I too have a (very old-mid to early eightes) 4 track recorder at home. Iomega gives out a free mpeg2 encoder called recordit, I think the realaudio encoder can also encode from that format into ra format. It would be fun to get some people together and record something with sound effects and everything.

As Carolyn mentioned, the two main missing ingredients are time, and getting hospitals to place a tatoo technician/Lawyer in every delivery room to tatoo "Tandem Productions ™" on the foot of every newborn and then charge them a licensing fee.

time: Mar 14 17:57 (Pacific Time)
from: Carolyn
host: cgowave-9-07.cgocable.net
e-mail: celamb@cgo.wave.ca
subject: Tandem Productions
MESSAGE:

Actually I don't think I was being sarcastic. Maybe a little overimaginative, but not sarcastic. The trouble with typing is it doesn't imply your meaning like your tone of voice does. We might be able to pull it off if we did it in ALL our free time (and maybe skipped a little school (or work, for most of you guys) to shoot some scenes for the movie).

***THIS NEXT PART OF THE MESSAGE IS ALL DETAILS THAT YOU MAY WANT TO SKIP IF YOU DON'T THINK TANDEM PRODUCTIONS IS A GOOD IDEA***

The zine would be the simplest part. We could start it out as a mailing list and we would all get it every (day? week? month? year? new story?) and we could ask all our friends to join the mailing list and they could ask their friends, etc.

For the real audio, well I think you're already doing that.

For the T-shirts, well that would be a little tricky. I suppose one of us could disguise him/her self as a clothing designer at a well known store and propose a design for a "Tandem Productions Rules" T-shirt. Since no one there would know what Tandem Productions was, they would think we were very imaginative and we could sneak in "www.tandemproductions.com" when they weren't looking. Unfortunately I don't think anyone here (including me) is able to do that.

For the ice cream store, we could ask part of Baskin-Robbins (well maybe some other ice cream store but that's my favorite one so it would get the best publicity) to put in this cool new ice cream flavor. Then we would keep adding more and more ice cream flavors until they said "WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!! GO START YOUR OWN ICE CREAM SHOP!!!" and they let us use part of their building for it. Presto!!! Tandem Productions Ice Cream Store.

Some of my ideas for flavors are:

The Peaches that Fell: Peach and strawberry, but mostly peach, flavored.

Reflections on the Surface of a Toenail: Hmmm. We can't have toenail flavored ice cream. Maybe we can put some strange colored food coloring into some vanilla ice cream.

If Grapes were the Frogs of Time: Grape flavored ice cream with plenty of green food coloring (and maybe small lumps of chocolate)

Bananas in Springtime: Banana flavour.

A Symphony unto Oneself: The ultimate Neopolitan, with EVERY FLAVOR YOU CAN THINK OF THAT TASTES GOOD WITH ALL THE OTHER FLAVORS!!!

The Unnamed Adventures of Roger Weaver: Um - um - I'll get back to you on that one.

For the novels, we could just print out the stories and send them to a publishing company. They might ask who the author is and then we would have a lot of explaining to do. But otherwise it would work out fine.

For the CD-ROM, well, I'm not sure how to make a CD-ROM. But if someone here does, here are some guidelines. It can be like that version of Sim City where you play with someone else who is on a different computer. You make up a story together, and every twentieth paragraph the computer posts something meaningless like "his imbecility was independent so he hustled to the illegal rythm" and they have to get around it. A good story is its own reward.

As for the movie, maybe that's a little farfeched. But with a good playwright/editor it could be done. After we had a good script, we could all go somplace (and acually see each other for the very first time) and start auditions. Chris would be the director, unless he got a part. Personally, I think if I was about five years older I could be Geraldine (although I don't know how to blow up like a baloon). Then we could rent some video cameras, blank videos, video editing ecquipment, video copying ecquipment, and a liscence to sell our movies to the video store (and maybe the theater) and PRESTO!!! Tandem story movie in action.

***THIS ENDS THE STUFF YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SKIPPED***

And by the way Chris, I said NOTHING about babies' feet.

time: Mar 14 20:15 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: Carolyn's manifesto on how to become rich and famous......
MESSAGE:

....and live happily ever after. Sounds like a great plan Carolyn. Future corporations of Canada look out. You're right about typing/net messages, but I actually enjoyed your original message very much. I was just kidding about the Bill Gatesesque plan for the babies. That was simply poking a little fun at you with some tongue-in-cheek humour. However now that I look over you're original message, I can see that I misjudged your intent (that it wasn't "Today a Tandem Story. Tomorrow, the world!"), and that my reply doesn't make much sense.

That line you quoted "his imbecility was independent so he hustled to the illegal rythm" is a fairly accurate description of some people I know. Did you make that up?

Well even though you're five years younger than Geraldine, you sound like you know better than to enter a dark cave with a principal who smears things on himself. And that's a good thing.

time: Mar 15 07:11 (Pacific Time)
from: Lanark
host: 220.minneapolis-08-09rs.mn.dial-access.att.net
subject: babies
MESSAGE:

I'm not so sure about the tattooing of babies as the licensing fees on the children could get pretty expensive.
Unless of course, we produced the children ourselves Tandemly. (The cost could then be defrayed with the selling of "documentary" footage of the tandem process for which I understand there is quite a market for. Much moreso than ice cream I might hazard.)
It would all depend on how much we'd want to diversify our products.

time: Mar 15 11:45 (Pacific Time)
from: carolyn
host: cgowave-9-07.cgocable.net
e-mail: celamb@cgo.wave.ca
subject: Tandem Productions
MESSAGE:

Yes, I made that up. I took some random words from a thesaurus (imbecility, independent, hustle, illegal, rhythm) and tried to fit them together into a sentence.

I understand about the tatooing thing being tongue-in-cheek. It's just that when I thought you thought I was being sarcastic, I also thought it was because I was being too unrealistic and trying to do everything with Tandem Productions.

Lanark: How could we produce children Tandemly? Are we supposed to imagine them together like we do with our stories?

time: Mar 15 12:43 (Pacific Time)
from: A Faithful Reader
host: du145.cli.ptd.net
subject: child producing and more stuff to do
MESSAGE:

For the love of God, Lanark, before you answer Carolyn's question about producing children tandemly, remember she's a little kid, whether she knows it or not.
Just an opinion from a faithful reader - the sound files are a great idea but if time is limited how about just doing the songs to start. I think it would be delightful if anyone who posts a song in the story could sing it to the world.
And illustrations (I'm thinking Mr. Tickles coming out of the cat suit) would be a joy.

time: Mar 15 13:24 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
MESSAGE:

That's a good idea. When I started thinking about a zine, it suddenly occured to me how lacking in artwork the story is. I started to think of a way to incorporate illustrations into the archived stories. My own illustration skills are limited as you can tell by the random drawings, but mostly by time. I haven't thought of a way to incorporate mass artwork, or generate collaborative artwork. Although it would be easy for me to upload the illustrations of others, and as you pointed out, the stories are fodder for anyone needing something to draw about.

Songs are another great idea. Anyone have a ukelele?

time: Mar 15 14:54 (Pacific Time)
from: Faithful reader
host: du10.cli.ptd.net
subject: musical intruments
MESSAGE:

No ukelele but Philip has a banjo.

time: Mar 15 16:03 (Pacific Time)
from: Carolyn
host: cgowave-9-07.cgocable.net
e-mail: celamb@cgo.wave.ca
MESSAGE:

I think from Faithful Reader's comment I can guess what Lanark meant.

I have a ukelele but I can't play it very well.

time: Mar 16 03:41 (Pacific Time)
from: Lanark
host: 62.minneapolis-15-20rs.mn.dial-access.att.net
subject: ukes
MESSAGE:

I've got a baritone ukelele which I can play pretty well. (Although I prefer to think of it as a tenor guitar.)
and I've got a theremin.

time: Mar 16 07:19 (Pacific Time)
from: Lanark
host: 60.minneapolis-05-10rs.mn.dial-access.att.net
subject: endings
MESSAGE:

you'll have to forgive me but I took the liberty of ending the Geraldine story.
It just seemed to be a logical ending point. (And thus sparing our ever gracious and indulgent host from the awkwardness of asking us politely to do so.)

time: Mar 16 08:18 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: user-38ld1h4.dialup.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
MESSAGE:

Christ-on-a-kebab, go away for three days and look what you miss out on.

I have a really good reading voice — I've done some voice-over stuff and used to be a DJ — so I'll volunteer my vocal chords for any reading.

By the way, I really do have a banjo. Can almost play "I Wish I Was a Mole in the Ground." Just because Lanark has seen fit to name his "special purpose" after a spectrum of musical instruments corresponding to its various states of repose, REM-sleep, and ardor, does not mean the rest of us speak fluent double-entendre at all times. Just half of the time...

time: Mar 16 10:02 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: user-38ld1h4.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: Guiding the Tandem, Ever So Gently, Out of the Closet
MESSAGE:

Hate to be the cranky voice of reality speaking (what am I saying? I love being the cranky voice of reality on the rare occasions it happens) but reading all the above posts, it all seems a bit complex to start out with. And I think if we can actually FINISH one story without it getting completely bogged down by inane random postings... I mean, it saddens me what happened to the last public one, because it had a real plot/subplots/etc, to which everyone... Anyway, especially on the Member's Only story, let's try and actually go all the way with one... which goes way beyond whether or not Monty is wearing a Darth Vader helmet...

time: Mar 16 10:34 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: user-38ld1h4.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: Members Only TS
MESSAGE:

by the way, if anyone is interested in continuing the Maori dialogue between Pata and the dead dog, there's a great translator at:

http://www.learningmedia.co.nz/nz/nd/ngatasearch/ntinpute.htm

time: Mar 16 11:55 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: merci
MESSAGE:

Thanks very much Lanark for capping off Geraldine's adventures. I'll work it up shortly.

Philip I was moved that you put to words the liberation of tank bound crustaceans with rubber bands. Whenever I go into a market or restaurant with crabs and lobsters in tanks I want secretly for them all to escape.

time: Mar 16 13:06 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: user-38ld1h4.dialup.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: Crustaceans in Bondage
MESSAGE:

This crime against God and Nature is one that shall cause our children's children, verily, and their children and theirs equally, too look back upon our generation with that same mixture of mortification and disbelief as strickens our own faces when we look back upon the cat-juggling atrocities of our own supremely misguided forebears...

time: Mar 17 16:48 (Pacific Time)
from: cuddles
host: 1Cust22.tnt1.santa-clara.ca.da.uu.net
subject: Yikes!
MESSAGE:

I have got to make a more concerted effort to check this thing every day! I have way to much catching up to do! (See what happens when you get a Playstation? Your life goes to hell!)

time: Mar 17 17:13 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
MESSAGE:

I was wondering what happened to you. So how much does a playstation go for these days? Are the games any better on a playstation vs a nifty computer (or are they just different)?

time: Mar 18 07:38 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: user-38ld1g4.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: a poem for cuddles
MESSAGE:

Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Forsaking us for a playstation;
In olden times such treachery
Was punished by decapitation!

time: Mar 26 07:45 (Pacific Time)
from: Members Only TS
host: user-2ivea5c.dialup.mindspring.com
Hot Link: www.pangloss.com/seidel/MTandem
MESSAGE:

Why hast thou joined me, only to forsake me, o my children?
I feel neglected! Do something to me! Infect me with strange tropical maladies! Diddle my orifices! Infuse me with garlic! Give me noogies so endless I develop a premature bald-spot! Dress me in humiliating costumes and lead me out into the cold arms and cruel eyes of the public on a leash and spiked collar! Send me back to kindergarten! Elect me governor! Tickle me with multiple Big Birds! Sing off-key renditions of the "That Girl" and "Happy Days" themes into my ear through a megaphone until I acquire pernicious tinnitus! But oh, come back, come back, come back...

time: Mar 26 10:20 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: ip209.oak.primenet.com
MESSAGE:

Well let's see we've got a taffy factory with two taffy-cocooned women being overseen by a dead dog and an army of recuperating killer lobsters, an observant worried mouse, two higher powers who I can't remember if they love each other or hate each other, and a Dr. following a tortoise in her car. It takes time to thnk of these things. Time is on our side.

time: Mar 26 14:13 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: user-2ivea7j.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: MOTS
MESSAGE:

hey, pH, that last entry about Pata was absolutely fucking brilliant!

time: Mar 26 15:34 (Pacific Time)
from: Carolyn
host: cgowave-9-07.cgocable.net
e-mail: celamb@cgo.wave.ca
subject: HTML
MESSAGE:

I have been away from the tandem story for a while and I had a lot of catching up to do. I'm glad Chris changed the forms so the way you see the text is the way it comes out. With HTML it's kind of dangerous, suppose someone accidentaly forgot to turn off bold or italic (like I did once)? Or a hacker could post one of those "end of document" things or something that makes no sense, like the begin document command and it would say "HTML error" or maybe create a weird subdocument or... there's no telling what a clever hacker can do if you let them fiddle with your web page!

time: Mar 26 17:14 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: crackers
MESSAGE:

I thought perhaps your parents had banned you from Tandem Land or something since you're kind of young to be flying off to Florida or Mexico for spring break.

Yeah I've had hackers embed Java Scripts that call 1000 new Windows to open when a page loads so your computer freezes and crashes when you try to load a page. Gee, isn't that cool?

time: Mar 27 09:27 (Pacific Time)
from: Carolyn
host: cgowave-9-07.cgocable.net
e-mail: celamb@cgo.wave.ca
subject: [WARNING!!! THIS MESSAGE HAS NO SUBJECT!!!]
MESSAGE:

Well they didn't exactly ban me from the Tandem Story but they don't like it. They're trying to get more publicity for my co-operative story so I won't waste all my creativity here.
That is very interesting about the hackers but I wouldn't want it to happen.

time: Mar 27 16:58 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: I'm too tired to summarize anything
MESSAGE:

".....but they don't like it." Well that doesn't surprise me. Nonetheless it speaks highly of you that you're mature enough to hold your own in a forum like this among a bunch of silly adults.

time: Mar 27 17:01 (Pacific Time)
from: pH
host: cyberpass.net
MESSAGE:

Thanks Philip. That Maori translator is a blast. I wish it would provide sound bites.

time: Mar 29 02:14 (Pacific Time)
from: Chris
host: ip203.oak.primenet.com
subject: Finishing later
MESSAGE:

Yeah I know it's messed up but I'll finish it tomorrow (er later today).

time: Mar 29 14:13 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: user-2ivea7a.dialup.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: The Maori Translator
MESSAGE:

I got it from a great resource:

http://www.helsinki.fi/~hkantola/dict.html

Online dictionaries of all shapes and sizes.

RE: MoTS — damn, monsieur Seidel et madame Richards, such flurries of activity while my trusty hound Bo-bo and I were out tom-catting among the female dog-walking set in Inwood Hill Park, replete with gentle Spring zephyrs upon which Officer Hickey himself could be seen undulating, sylphlike and odalisque and - DOWN BOY! DOWN! DOWN!

time: Mar 30 11:42 (Pacific Time)
from: Philip
host: user-2ivea5j.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: MoTS
MESSAGE:

Hell, I'm all for long-winded! The mice are a brilliant subplot, too! But for now I'm sticking with the Public; I think I'll have to print a copy of the MoTS out and bring it home with me where I'll have time to read the whole thing so I can do it justice when I respond...

time: Tuesday 31 March 99 1:40:32 AM
from: Chris
host: ip206.oak.primenet.com
subject: good show
MESSAGE:

You're doing a great job. I like the Roger revisited bit.

I too have to print things out. I can't stand reading on the computer. Perhaps in the future once I collect some graphics (and some time to edit) I can lay the stories out with pagemaker and make a pdf version available? I've seen something like that done elsewhere, though I'm not sure if that's a generalized standard path, i.e. document->PageMaker (or some other program)->pdf ?

time: Tuesday 31 March 99 1:48:59 PM
from: Philip
host: user-2ivea79.dialup.mindspring.com
MESSAGE:

Hey, where is everyone? Lanark, cuddles, spackle, et al?

time: Thursday 1 Apr 99 1:18 PM
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: bug test - where's that can of intellectual Raid?
MESSAGE:

Out for some coffee
my brain is like glue
I stayed up too late
and almost overslept too
I'm testing a funcion
to see if it's true
this post is for me
more than for you
traffic's been light
no print from no shoe
write programs it's fun
keeps away the blue
then you can post silly things
to see if the output is true

I think the internet has reached a critical mass such that it formed a worm whole and sucked everybody up. I never did finish Neuromancer.

time: Thursday 1 Apr 99 3:18 PM
from: Philip
host: user-2ivea0p.dialup.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
MESSAGE:

I was unable to read Neuromancer until I the day got into the bathtub with it, at which point I was unable to get out until I'd finished it.

Hey, Chris, I'm curious: are you at all familiar with the Voynich ms.?

time: Thursday 1 Apr 99 8:08 PM
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
MESSAGE:

time: Friday 2 Apr 99 7:35 AM
from: Philip
host: user-2iveaah.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: Voynich
MESSAGE:

Yeah, I somehow thought so. I've been following these endless scholarly e-discussions about it, detailing every lead, and every approach at cracking it (from the most rigorously Sci-Methodical to the most wildly crackpot). Linguists are a peculiar lot. Esp. the cunning ones.

I just downloaded a PC font based on the Voynich characters which I'm gonna translate into Mac. Need one?

Anyone else, whether you want to be a model, or just look like one, go pay a visit to:

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Delphi/8956/history.html

Thrills n' chills guaranteed for all.

time: Friday 2 Apr 99 7:36 AM
from: Philip
host: user-2iveaah.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: Thank you, too, Sir...
MESSAGE:

Thanks for what?

time: Friday 2 Apr 99 12:20 AM
from: CHris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: It's name is Voynich, so don't call it indecipherable
MESSAGE:

Very interesting. I actually don't know a thing about it though I have some friends who studied linguistics and had really whacky homework assignments, like hey lets make up a language with 5 consonants 3 vowels and 2 variations of ienyooirthkmapthong and 2 indefinite article2! That would occupy them for about 30 minutes. Then they'd be off to deciphering some obscure langauge used by a half dozen eskimos from tha last century.

I thought some of the approaches to "measure" Voynich manuscript were interesting. For instance measuring the entropy of the text and comparing it to other texts.

Where is the forum you've been following? Is it publicly accessible?

time: Friday 2 Apr 99 - Half past 4 PM
from: Philip
host: user-2iveag6.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: Funny you should ask, Chris...
MESSAGE:

the forum mailing list is at:

voynich@rand.org

and the archive is at:

http://www.research.att.com/~reeds/voynich/firth.html

I would love to type in a good 3000 words here and now re: how one determines an entropic value for a given text, and how such knowledge is of immeasurable value when it comes to picking up fast women in wild, wild bars, but the thing is, it's 7:30 on Good Friday evening, AND I"M STILL AT MOTHERFUCKING WORK! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Must escape...

Happy Easter/Passover/Feast of Exu the Devourer of Souls, y'all...

time: Monday 5 Apr 99 12:06 AM
from: Philip
host: user-2ivea3u.dialup.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: Public TS
MESSAGE:

I feel compelled to apologize for the behavior of this disgusting adolescent incarnation of Officer Hickey. Nevertheless, facts are facts, there is no denying that these events did in fact take place, and if, God willing, we are not to be doomed to repeat the past, what happened must be recorded for the perusal of future generations, those grubby children of some unnameably dark future, bravely marching through an arid land devoid of both hope and muenster cheese, forced to feed exclusively off turtle-droppings! Oh, cuddles! Ah, lanark! Come back, come back, or I shall continue to "sow the wind with beans" as the Book of Job so aptly puts it, and spout this drivel until I go completely potty and they find me with those aforementioned growing out of my ears, curling whirled through the whorls within, all my thoughts turned to beans, beans, beans...

time: Monday 5 Apr 99 9:09 PM
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
subject: Since when did the jewels ever smell like anything?
MESSAGE:

Hmmm, wouldn't schwetty be a little more savory than smelly? Although I suppose smelly is the better rhyme.

time: Monday 5 Apr 99 10:38 PM
from: cuddles
host: 1Cust1.tnt5.santa-clara.ca.da.uu.net
subject: catching up ...again!
MESSAGE:

Hello children of the Tandem God! I promise I haven't been ignoring you on purpose. I have been in Tennessee for 5 days. Visiting my sister and her family for Easter. And I've learned that I sure do love California. Not that Tennessee is a bad place, mind you. We had a lovely (if slightly sticky) time but I don't think I could live there. Well, it's going to take me some time to catch up so I'll just have to print it all out and read it in bed. I'm sure I'll have something to contribute tomorrow. So what's your story, Lanark?

time: Tuesday 6 Apr 99 1:04 AM
from: Chris
host: ip206.oak.primenet.com
subject: Well kiss my grits!
MESSAGE:

Glad you're back. The Tandem pace is a bit much to keep up with at times. When I walk down the street and see the hoards of people, and realize that horads of people exist all over the earth I think to myself "man, all these people could be contributing to the story. It would be really hard to keep up with then."

So Tennessee is sticky in April too? I thought that was only a summer thing. Isn't there ever a time when the air feels like it does on the Golden Gate Bridge?

Bravo! Bravo Philip! While at the cafe I chuckled in my seat reading your taffilicious words in MoTS.

time: Tuesday 6 Apr 99 9:18 AM
from: cuddles
host: 1Cust23.tnt2.santa-clara.ca.da.uu.net
subject: Oops!
MESSAGE:

Chris, I forgot to turn off the italics on my last entry, right after gasp. Could you clean that up for me? Thanks, your a peach!

Apparently, this past weekend was the first warm weather they'd had in Tennessee and the humidity was a bit more than I'm used to. Ironically, we came home to unseasonably cold weather and a blown down fence. Go figure.

time: Wednesday 7 Apr 99 9:17 AM
from: Lanark
host: 206.145.121.17
subject: unexplained and absent
MESSAGE:

Geesh kids, can't a guy pretend he's got a little bit of a life?

I've been gone for a number of reasons actually, first and to the foremost I was felled by the most heinous bought of flu for nearly a week. (The kind that makes standing upright not an option and makes you feel like you've spent a week huffing gold paint behind the dumpster.) I was so ill that I actually found myself watching "The View" as well as "Mchales Navy" withoutthe wherewithall to turn them off.
that's ill

time: Wednesday 7 Apr 99 - AM The big hand is on the 9 The little hand is on the 23.
from: Philip
host: user-2iveaa2.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: Wails and Whyfores
MESSAGE:

Well, after a date which lasted till 5:30 in the morning, I played hookey yesterday and slept the deep untroubled sleep of the besated analog set. Nice to come back to find the two of you (poor little lost sheep) returned to the fold.

time: Wednesday 7 Apr 99 3:50 PM
from: Chris
host: vault-particle.Berkeley.EDU
MESSAGE:

oooooooooo Philip is in love! (giggle giggle giggle).

time: Wednesday 7 Apr 99 3:56 PM
from: Philip
host: user-2iveaa2.dialup.mindspring.com
MESSAGE:

with an East River mermaid, no less...

time: Thursday 8 Apr 99 7:47 AM
from: Lanark
host: 206.145.121.17
subject: Tom Hanks
MESSAGE:

Golly! Just like in "Splash"!

time: Thursday 8 Apr 99 7:54 AM
from: Philip
host: user-2iveaiq.dialup.mindspring.com
e-mail: fishie_pie@hotmail.com
subject: Don Knotts
MESSAGE:

Nah, The Incredible Mr. Limpet would probably be an apter equivalent.

time: Thursday 8 Apr 99 1:18 PM
from: Lanark
host: 206.145.121.17
subject: the romantic side of Don Knotts
MESSAGE:

I don't wanna watch, and I don't wanna know.

time: Thursday 8 Apr 99 1:23 PM
from: Philip
host: user-2iveaiq.dialup.mindspring.com
subject: The only man able to replace Mr. Roper
MESSAGE:

It gives me immense pleasure to imagine an alternate universe in which all the great, leading-man roles in film — for instance, Malcolm MacDowell in A Clockwork Orange and/or Caligula, Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now, or any of Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry roles — were played instead by Don Knotts ala La Aparición y Senor Pollo...

time: Thursday 8 Apr 99 2:51 PM
from: Lanark
host: 206.145.121.17
subject: mr Knotts: the unknown Olivier
MESSAGE:

Are you implying that "the Reluctant Astronaut" and "The Love God" were roles beneath the inimitable Mr Knott's genius?

time: Thursday 8 Apr 99 3:28 PM
from: Philip
host: user-2iveaiq.dialup.mindspring.com
MESSAGE:

I think it's a well-established fact already that every role was automatically beneath a thespian of the caliber of Mr. Knotts.

time: Monday 12 Apr 99 - Half past 11 AM
from:
host: user-2iveaau.dialup.mindspring.com
MESSAGE:

Chris, you are too fucking funny